Birthday thoughts and self awareness

Today is my birthday.

We bought a house and we are finally moved in.  Everything is still in boxes around me.

It’s been difficult the last few months. I’m not going to lie.

But I don’t want to be a downer so I’m not going to go into it.

My family and I are healthy. We have a place to live, food on the table. My company still has income (reduced, yes, but it’s steady). So there is a lot to be grateful for.

As I unpack I want to get rid of stuff.

I want to finish projects – quilting, knitting, cross stitch.

I don’t want to just finish, I want to expand my craft to do things that I’m inspired to do. It’s hard to explain. I enjoy my crafting. I find it meditative. I find it exhilarating when I’m learning a new technique. Or even when something goes right the way it’s supposed to. It’s so satisfying.  But at the same time, I feel like I’ve locked myself in a box to finish the stuff before I can start the stuff. I go back and forth on this all the time. If I have too many projects I get overwhelmed and I go a little insane. And yet, I feel like I have to start things when I’m inspired to start and in the last few years I’ve been pushing that impulse away so I can minimize the amount of projects I have. So I don’t go a little insane.  I don’t know. This goes around and around in my head when I think about what I want to do.

I do want to learn bobbin lace. And I still want to sew garments. And I want to garden. So much I want to do and there’s just not enough time. ugh!

These are my thoughts… as the year ends, I’m preparing for my 2021 goals. I’ll keep rehashing it until I figure out what I want to do. I used to do the Sunday Stash report and I just stopped. I don’t remember why now. For a long time the numbers stayed the same. And I think I was going to report when something changed, but then I didn’t and then I just started adding fabric. I may start doing that post again. It helped to keep my numbers honest. And I was a little more mindful of when I added fabric in.

11 responses »

  1. Happy Birthday, Melanie, and congratulations on your new home. I hope you continue to enjoy getting settled in. I do understand what you mean about finishing and not starting new projects. I find that I cannot just do the finishing; I have to do some new projects, just to keep my mojo going. It’s a continual struggle.

  2. Happy birthday Melanie! Congrats on the new house.

    I am flip/flopping all the time around the number of projects I have, and do I want/need to finish this or that before starting something new. Personally I’m going with the flow now as I had more angst when I tried to just finish everything, but that was trial and error. This year has been so not-normal.

    • Thanks! I am right there with you. Just going with the flow because it’s just too much without adding on my own personal pressure on myself. 🙂

  3. I’m right there with you having too many projects going and feeling overwhelmed, and then feeling like I’m missing out when I see something new I’d like to do and not wanting to start yet another project. You’re welcome to rejoin Sunday Stash anytime. Some of the regulars post monthly rather than weekly as that works better for them.
    Hope you had a wonderful birthday!

  4. Happy Birthday!! I agree, there’s just not enough time for everything I want to accomplish either. Someone recommended the book The One Thing to help so I bought it, but of course, I haven’t had time to read it yet..Haha!! Anyways, congrats on the new house!

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